Month: August 2018

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We can not simply pray away mental illness

Prayer is good, mediation helps but we can not pray away mental illnesses. While it may be comforting to ‘take our troubles to the Lord in prayer’, it is also important that we seek medical help for health conditions.

We can not pray away mental illness

There are some people that pray relentlessly for healing but not get healed. What do you think goes through those peoples minds when they do not get better after prayer? A lot of times people start to feel like failures, that they have sinned and do not deserve to get healed from their sickness.

Let us encourage loved ones that are suffering, especially with mental health conditions to seek medical help, then we can pray with them; if that is what you do and it is within their beliefs.

This morning I read that  Pastor Andrew Stoecklein of Inland Hills, Chino, California had taken his life after battling depression and anxiety. He was only 30 years old, leaving behind a wife and 3 sons.

Pastor Andrew Stoecklein of Inland Hills Church took his life after battling with anxiety and depression. (Inland Hills Church)

This is not a man who didn’t know how to pray. He prayed with and for other people as well as teach. He was a leader that was looked upon as a responsible person in society and religious communities but he suffered from depression.

He probably couldn’t share what was really troubling him as everyone looked to him for answers. It can get very lonely at the top.

His church announced, “In his time leading Inland Hills, Andrew reached so many with his warm wit, passionate heart for God, and teaching that always, always pointed others to Jesus. The loving husband, father, son, and friend that he was will continue to inspire us in leading others into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ,”

Mental illness should not be considered as demonic, it is a reality. It is a dysfunction rooted in the structure of the personality and most times caused by traumatic, physical or psychological experiences or genetic imbalances. In most cases medication can help a person lead an almost normal life.

The churches need to step up and teach their congregants about mental health and the help they can get professionally. If people can seek medical help for all other illnesses they should be encouraged to do so for their mental health, then the in-house counselling can be offered. People should not be afraid to reach out when they are suffering.

Let us continue to talk about mental health and get help when we need it, for ourselves and, for our loved ones. Help is always at hand. You can make an appointment to see your  GP or call NHS  on 111. The Samaritans are on call on 116 123 for 24-hour confidential, non-judgemental emotional support.

See some other organisations that can help with mental health issues.

 

 

 

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“I always thought you were a little bit crazy”

When I opened up about my struggles with anxiety and depression, I expected to receive mixed reactions but I wasn’t prepared for the lack of support from the people that I considered as friends

People suddenly became experts on the subject

These are the things I was told;

  • Don’t take any medication it will only make you worse.
  • Black people don’t suffer from depression, you are adopting western values.
  • That is just a sign of weakness, we all go through stuff.
  • Depression is for people with money, poor people haven’t got time for such illnesses.
  • Snap out of it, pull yourself together.
  • There are people having a harder time than you are in Africa, think of the starving people and the orphans.
  • Quit feeling sorry for yourself, go and exercise and you will feel better.
  • You don’t look like someone who is depressed.

If I am honest, none of those suggestions helped me. It showed me just how little people, especially in Black African communities understand depression hence the stigma surrounding it and people suffering in silence.

I had a conversation with someone last week and they asked why I have been so quiet of late.

I said I had been busy and I needed to take some time for my recovery and they said, “Oh! What’s eating you?”

This was the very first person that I told when I was at my worst and they tried to talk me out of taking medication, so it really disappointed me to explain myself again – but, I told them.

They then started asking me what my plans for the future were, what makes me happy, what do I want out of my life, what is the most important thing in my life etc.

I felt like I was being interviewed for a job and no matter what I said I was met with another question.

I don’t know how I managed to stay calm during that conversation but I realised we have a long way to go in raising awareness about mental health issues and caring for people affected by mental health.

I then had someone else make contact via text and they asked me if I had sorted out my “crap”. Really… crap? The last time I spoke to them I had just been diagnosed but they never bothered to pop in or offer any comfort but when they want to hang out they expect me to have sorted out my crap.  How does my struggle with anxiety and depression equate to crap?

That text remains unanswered and I have decided that I will not be engaging in conversation with that person.

Now I understand why people do not disclose their mental illnesses. Too many stereotypes and stigma attached to it. What does depression really look like?

‘I always thought you were a bit crazy’ is another response that I get from some people that think that they are making light of the situation when in actual fact they aren’t.

“Do you think it’s wise to share and write on a public platform that you suffered from depression?”

The answer is yes..how else do we raise awareness of mental health if we don’t talk about it? People experience mental health in different ways, some personally and some are care givers for friends and family members.

support network

Depression knows no age, no race, no gender, it doesn’t care how little or how much you have. It affects everyone.

According to mind.org, approximately 1 in 4 people in UK will experience a mental health problem each year and 1 in 6 people report experiencing common mental health problems like anxiety and depression every week.

Let’s be a bit understanding and accommodating to those that we see struggling, you cannot force anyone to get treatment but the first step is to show understanding so that they may open up.

Staying silent isn’t being strong, speaking out is!