Tag: social media

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Care Tips To Help Ease Stress During Lockdown

This is a stressful time not just in the  homes across the nation but all over the world. For most people this has been the longest that they have stayed at home when they are not on annual leave or holiday, and at the moment they are not staying in because they choose to but  because they need to, for their own safety and all those around them.

There is nowhere to escape to, no gym, no pub and no mates houses to go and hangout when one needs a place a distraction.

My friends and I have been chatting a lot on WhatsApp and Messenger and I will share with you some of the tips we have been talking about and find useful.

 

  1. Try to have a morning workout

 

Some stretches and gentle exercises would be good to do in the morning before you get start checking your email and getting down to work.

If you have children you may choose to exercise before they wake and have that as your ‘me time’ or if they are at an age where they enjoy exercising, then make it into a family activity and you can bond with your family through exercise.

 

2. Shower and change daily

 

We have been joking around a lot about waking at 7.57am and being at our desks at 8am, but it’s very important to shower and change before we start working or doing our other duties. It actually makes you feel better.

 

3. Maintain a routine

 

If you don’t know what you’re doing from one day to the next you will start to get overwhelmed and not finish your projects if you are working from home.

Keep your bedtimes and wake up time the same as you would if you are working in an office or commute. That way it will also be easy for you to make the transition back to the office when the time comes.

 

4. Take a break

 

Take a break from work as you would in the office and stretch your legs. If you have a garden or balcony thats good because you can get some air but if not you can still pause and put the kettle on.

 

5. Switch of the telly during work time

 

I am guilty of having the news on the loop all day but I am aware of what a distraction that is. The best advice is to catch up with the morning news, we all need to know what is happing around us and then get on with what we need to do.

 

6. Switch off work devices during down time or family time

 

It is easy to get caught up in  work and let it over lap onto rest time when we are working from home but it’s equally important to maintain our working hours and then put our work away in order to rest and catch up with the news, our kids and our friends.

 

7. Find a good book to read

 

Most people buy books and don’t read them, now is the time to find those books and enjoy some quiet time.

You can also read audio books, e-books or your favourite blogs and listen to podcasts.

 

8. Play games and do some crafts

 

Many people play games on their mobiles, my nephew loves video games and if you have cards, monopoly or scrabble, now is the time to pull them out and get everyone involved.

Pull out those crafting projects you have been meaning to finish for years and complete them.

 

9. Meditate and practice relaxation

 

Find a quiet place and meditate, pray or listen to some soothing music to unwind as that can  help you to slow down and relieve some of your stress.

 

10. Have a long bath or shower

 

Having a long bath or shower can be calming at the end of the day so treat yourself to a relaxing bath or a nice shower and change into comfortable clothes then you can chill out.

 

11. Cook your meals

 

Try some simple recipes and cook yourself some nice meals. It’s so easy to snack when we are stuck at home so managing eating times and what we snack on is important. Make use of the stuff in your freezers and cupboard and experiment with herbs and spices.

 

12. Clean your space

 

It would be helpful if you clean your work and living space and have it tidy so that its more pleasant to stay in or work in. You can’t think straight when you are in cluttered or overcrowded spaces so if you live in a small place you could pick a corner that you can have as a safe space.

 

13. Stay in touch with others

 

Keep in touch with your friends and family via mediums suitable to you and avoid passing on fake news or misleading information to each other. Support each other during this difficult time.

 

14. Know your limits

It’s easy to tick checklists and listen to other peoples advice but ultimately it lies with you. You have to know and understand what you can do and what you can’t do during this difficult time and do what works for you and the people around you.

 

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It’s Time To Check On Your Friends

We are officially on lockdown and  I feel like I’m under house arrest.

I am trying to make use of all the free time that I have and I realised there are a lot of people I have lost touch with over time and found myself thinking of them at this time.

Everyone is doing the best they can but it will be good to check on each other from time to time.

This is not a time to be visiting each other but staying in contact is possible through phones and social mediums. This is the time to pick up that landline that you haven’t used in years since you got dependent on your mobile phone.

Pick up the phone and check on someone

Check on your friends, the strong, the self sufficient and the ones struggling with their mental health.

Check on your friends that suffer from anxiety and find it difficult to go out and do their shopping without having panic attacks.

Check on your relatives and the elderly around you and the vulnerable if you have their contact numbers. This will be a very scary time for them.

Be nice to the people around you and offer kind words. This is a difficult time for many and some people have shown how stressful situations can turn them into ‘not so nice people’, as some of you may have witnessed it when out shopping during the toilet paper fiasco.

If you are not expected to be at work, please follow the guidelines and stay at home.

If you are working during this difficult time, please follow the personal protection protocols for your safety and your families.

This will pass, but we all need to do our bit.

Stay safe people!!

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Learn to let go of the need for validation or the approval of others

As humans, it is in our nature to give and receive appreciation for the tasks that we perform or for the good we have done.

It’s great to receive a compliment for a job well done, to be congratulated for an achievement and to get a thank you when we have done something helpful for someone, but we should not rely on outside validation to prove our worth.

It is good to be appraised for a job well done

Lack of self-esteem can prompt us to conform to other people’s beliefs and rely on their opinions instead of trusting our own judgement. It can cause us to be motivated by other people’s passions and not be our true selves in order to be accepted by certain groups, while putting our own lives on hold.

If you find yourself

  • overly dependent on approval from partners or significant people in your life and becoming unhappy if that doesn’t happen
  • constantly trying to please all the people all the time but not making time for yourself
  • feeling guilty for saying no when you really don’t have the time to do what someone has asked you to do
  • continuously needing the approval of friends or family to give you a sense of self-worth
  • holding back on your own creativity to fit in with the people that you look up to
  • feeling like you’re not good enough when you don’t get the approval that you expected
  • suppressing your opinions to avoid rejection and conflict
  • trying too hard to be good to people that won’t go out of their way for you
  • lacking confidence in your own skills and abilities
  • conforming yourself to fit in from group to group; you may be overly dependent on other people’s validation which hinders your ability to function without your actions being approved by those people.

For instance; on social media, some people thrive on the high from the number of followers and likes that they get. If they get unfollowed or they do not get the responses that they expect, they take it personally and get very upset.

This has led to depression in some individuals because the validation from others is what they have been addicted to and what keeps them going, so when it stops the feeling of loss and rejection can be overwhelming.

We need to find happiness within ourselves first before we expect it from others.

You do not need anyones approval to do the things you like

Here are some ways of helping yourself stop seeking validation

  • Learn to say no. It’s OK to say no to the things that you don’t want to do or don’t like.
  • Don’t engage in activities that could be degrading or time consuming just to be seen as cool to fit in with the crowd.
  • Realise that it is OK not to be liked by everyone or to like everyone that comes into your life.
  • Learn to do things that make you feel happy and alive without asking for anyone’s opinion.
  • Don’t focus on finding love, instead learn to love yourself so that comments or criticisms don’t affect you.
  • Do not change yourself to fit in with people who don’t love you, it will only drain you and make you unhappy.
  • Make yourself a priority, you cannot please anyone if you are not happy. You will not have any energy for yourself and your growth if you are focusing on building other people than yourself.

It may take some time to reach a point where you can be self-sufficient and do some things without the need for outside validation, but you can learn to be your own source of happiness. You need to start trusting yourself that you are good enough without being endorsed by peers or family. Any approval or type of validation should be taken as a compliment, but you should not dwell on it or rely on it.

 

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The Cure for Depression: Meditate, Pray, Journal, etc. — The Bipolar Writer Blog – A Mental Health Blog

Welcome to suggestion #12 on curing depression. I’ve got a word for you fellow depressors: Mindfulness. Have you heard that one lately? I don’t even social media that much since realizing it contributed an unhealthy amount to my negative self-image and my -sorry; rambling. I don’t get around much, and even I saw that word everywhere. […]

via The Cure for Depression: Meditate, Pray, Journal, etc. — The Bipolar Writer Blog – A Mental Health Blog

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Why I am not a huge fan of video calls

 

That feeling you get when you hear your doorbell ring as you just sit down to have dinner or to watch your favourite TV show,  when you are not expecting anyone, is exactly how I feel when my phone rings and it’s a video call from someone who I wasn’t expecting to talk to or just do not want to see.

I am not what you can call a shy person, actually I am a talkative, bubbly woman who loves to laugh and be around people but I do not like unplanned video calls as I find them so intrusive and I do not like them for the following reasons;

  • I have to be dressed appropriately

I don’t want you to see me while I am dressed in my pyjamas, in my lingerie or even in my birthday suit.

I don’t want you to see me wrapped in my towel coming out of the shower or getting dressed.

Sure, you say you don’t mind, but I do.

  • I don’t want to see you

There are days when I do not want to see anyone, honestly – I have ugly days or grumpy days and I am just happy to talk on the phone.

There are days when I could be having guests, and I cannot be on a video call.

I could be driving or out out and about,  FaceTime calls automatically activate the loudspeaker, I don’t want people hearing my conversations.

Please do not call me while you are doing your errands and you just want someone online to keep you company while you unpick your braids or doing your ironing.

Oh, and please hang up when you go to the bathroom! What is it that you want to say that can’t wait?

  • I can’t multi task

I like to cook or bake or generally do stuff in my house, I don’t want to be on a video call while I do those things.

Seriously, if I want company, I will invite you over or arrange time mutual for us to meet.

Please don’t say it’s OK to chat while I am having my dinner. It’s not good manners, and I don’t want you to watch me eating.

  • I love meeting face to face

My experience with video calling is that the more people I video chat with, the less we make time to catch up, have a meal or just a coffee. There is no point in visiting each other as you can sit under a blanket and talk about how cold it is outside or how unfair it was that so and so has been knocked out of Strictly Come dancing.

If you video call me when I am washing my dishes – you are in my house, you are in my bedroom when I am packing my shelves and  tidying up and when I am just having down time. There are people I can not allow in my private space and video calling make it quite intrusive.

I know video calls are here to stay. The vast majority of the general population has a smart phone.  FaceTime, WhatsApp, Line, Viber, Tango, Facebook, Skype and Hangouts, to name a few are the popular video calling apps of the moment.

It has made life relatively easy. People in long distance relationships, people with relatives abroad that they can’t get to see as often as they like, people deployed away for work and long distance business meetings all thrive because video calling allows the continuity of the relationship.

That being said, I do not think I am the only one that is not a big fan of them.

Please comment and share your thoughts .