Inspiration Experience Support
Mental health is not a choice
It does not care about your voice
Your age, your gender, your race, your faith,
It can affect you in any state
Mental health is not a flaw
It does not follow any law
It can be hidden or be seen
It can be mild or extreme
Mental health is not a shame
It does not deserve any blame
It can be treated with support
It can be healed with love and care
We all experiences loneliness from time to time, yet each person’s experience will be different. One way to describe loneliness is the feeling that we get when our needs for social contact aren’t satisfied.
There are people who choose to live alone and be happy without much social contact with others; others might find this a lonely encounter. On the other hand, you might have lots of social contacts, or be in a relationship or part of a family and still feel lonely. It is especially difficult if you do not feel cared for or understood by those around you.
Different Types of Loneliness
Emotional loneliness
This is when you experience bereavement, a relationship breakup, or someone you were very close with is no longer there. This could be a parent, partner, child, sibling, or close friend.
Social loneliness
Social loneliness can come about when you retire or change jobs, move to a new area or country and you feel like you’re lacking a wider social network of friends or colleagues.
Transient loneliness
This is when you experience a temporary change in circumstances, environment, or relationships. For example, if you are divorced and are co-parenting and the children must spend time with the other parent, you will feel lonely when the children are away for a weekend or holiday, and if you must self-isolate due to having symptoms or have Covid 19.
– race
– disabilities
– mental health
– gender
– sexual orientation
– divorce
– relocation
It is also common to struggle with situational loneliness on days or times when most people are with their families, for instance, birthdays, bank holidays, Sundays, and Christmases.
Chronic loneliness
Similar to transient loneliness, chronic loneliness can begin during an adjustment in a person’s state of affairs or environment, but it lingers on, and you feel lonely all or most of the time.
Mental Health Loneliness
Loneliness can ensue because of short-term or permanent struggles with mental health disorders and conditions such as PTSD, dementia, and bipolar disorder, to name a few.
How to cope with loneliness
There are some helpful things one person can do if they find themselves consumed with loneliness.
When to get help
Loneliness can be problematic if it develops into chronic loneliness. If you continue having those feelings of loneliness, you may benefit from contacting a healthcare provider or mental health professional.
It would also be good to talk to someone if:
ARE YOU HAVING THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE?
It’s best to get help right away. You can call a crisis helpline, reach out to a loved one, or call your local emergency room. Below is a list of helpful numbers.
https://www.beyondtheshade.com/2021/03/04/depression-contact-list/
Sources:
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/loneliness/about-loneliness/
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/loneliness/about-loneliness/
https://www.marmaladetrust.org/lonelinessguide?
https://www.rootsofloneliness.com/
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/chronic-loneliness
It’s the first day of 2022, Happy New Year everybody!
2021 was not a good year for me, physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially. After losing more close family during the year, my grief was so intense, I lost interest in the things that I loved and that kept me going.
I don’t remember the number of times that I sat down to write but couldn’t put the words together, or went shopping with the intention of cooking but ended up with a fridge full of food that is nearing or past its best before date, but end up opting for a takeaway instead.
I have spent so many months trying to fix things, overthinking a lot of stuff, and kicking myself for the things that I feel I could have done better, which didn’t do much to help with my mental health.
As always, I have a tendency of being really hard on myself, and as we were approaching the year, I spent some time in quiet reflection and decided that I was not going to be listing out any unrealistic new year’s resolutions but that I would start by being kind to myself and not commit myself to timelines which make me anxious when left incomplete.
From time to time, I enjoy reading quotes and get a lot of inspiration from the ones that seem to relate to me depending on how I am feeling at the moment so when I saw this one “No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again.” – Buddha
For me, the past does not date back to years, it can be a week or a couple of days but it can set me back for months on end. My hope is to try to conquer each day that I wake and focus on the small victories which would be in the way of:
With the emerging coronavirus variants, it is still very important that we continue wearing our masks, avoiding crowds, maintaining social distancing, and isolating when we are feeling under the weather, have symptoms, or have tested positive.
Stay safe and have a fruitful, healthy 2022, and remember that no matter how hard the past is, you can always begin again.
I came across this quote and it made me think about the sacrifices parents make for their children, especially mothers.
“Motherhood is a choice you make every day, to put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you’re not sure what the right thing is…and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong.” [At Home on Ladybug Farm]
Every so often we do too much, take on more than we can or need to until we get to a point that we can no longer manage, and our mental and physical health starts to suffer.
When we take on too many projects than we can handle, we are left feeling anxious to meet the deadlines, burnt out from doing too much, and depressed that we couldn’t finish the tasks on time or didn’t manage to complete them at all.
We need to know that it’s okay to take a break from the pressures of life, say no to invitations to the events that we don’t want to attend, and be selective about the activities we put ourselves up for.
Most of my friends are mothers who need to run their households, looking after kids, doing school runs, keeping social and health appointments, sports activities and some also work full time.
By the time the stay-at-home mums drop the kids off at school, go back home and do the cleaning, pick up the shopping, it’s almost time to pick up the children from school again and make dinner.
The working parents have to manage their schedules to fit in with school dropoffs, picking up from babysitters or after-school clubs, go home and make dinner get the kids ready for bed, and do it all over again the next day.
Working overtime with no breaks and no time out to recharge for yourself is not good, but most mums feel that if they stop then it means that they are not good parents. It’s not the amount of time we spend with the kids that matters, it’s the amount of quality time we spend with them.
Sometimes even the partners are not aware of how much the mothers do on a daily basis. It is okay to ask for help, perhaps with cleaning once in a while or having a sitter come in and look after the kids for a few hours while you go to the gym, a walk, coffee with friends, or just to take a nap and have a rest.
Here are a few tips to help you slow down
Enjoy the little time you have alone – don’t spend your time alone at home after dropping off kids at school feeling anxious about how they are getting on. The teachers are trained to look after the children during that time, instead, read a book or write a journal.
Make some time to unwind – if you have a few minutes to yourself, even 5 to 10 mins, you can close your eyes and use this time to practice mindfulness, meditate, take deep breaths and clear your thoughts.
Take Walks – you can do this with your dog if you have one or with the children at a safe place where children can safely run around and get some fresh air. It is good for you and the children’s mental health and also helps them to sleep better at night.
Take a Power Nap – A power nap can help you recharge. You don’t have to sleep for hours – just 30 minutes to an hour can help you feel rested and you can continue with your tasks.
Treat yourself to a relaxing bath – when you’re on a tight schedule it’s always quick showers and out of a house, so having a long warm bath feels like a treat. When the kids have settled in for the night, light some nice smelling candles, put some soothing bath salts and soak in a bubble bath. You will feel refreshed.
Watch what you eat – When you’re busy with the children and activities it is easy to eat on the hoof. Most mums will grab a chocolate bar and a coffee to go, on the way to pick up the kids from school and nibble on what the children are having for dinner and not make time for their own nutrition. That is also detrimental to overall wellbeing so it is very important to make time to prepare, sit and eat healthy meals.
To all the mothers out there, please do not find excuses that will keep you from taking a break. You do not have to be perfect, we become better parents when we are rested and happy, not when we are depressed and overwhelmed by our schedules and children. You do need to feel guilty for taking care of yourself, you deserve the break.
Your present way of life may not be helpful in keeping up your mental wellness. Generally, people are always rushing about, stressing about work and children and don’t leave much time for relaxation. Being active and doing things that boost psychological wellness can be an amazing method to advance the nature of your everyday life.
Apply these tips consistently:
Stay in touch with others.
Having solid and positive interactions with others has a significant impact on mental wellbeing. You will be less lonely when you communicate with other people.
Of late, it has been difficult to meet up with friends and families due to the lockdowns brought about by the Covid 19 pandemic, but you can make use of video calls phone calls.
Keep fit
The more unfit we are, the more our mental health suffers so it’s important to maintain our physical health so that our mental health improves.
With local gyms and recreational centres closed during the lockdown, coming out for a walk each day or every other day and getting some fresh air could be beneficial for mental health.
Consistently challenge yourself.
Try something new like cooking a dish you have never made, bake a cake, or simply declutter that drawer with plastic bags and takeaway menus that you have been meaning to throw out for several months. Set small goals and try to stick with them
Figure out how to manage pressure successfully.
Sometimes we do things that we think make us feel better but in essence, they make our situation worse. For instance, if you are a comfort eater, ordering a takeaway or digging into a tub of ice cream will leave you feeling worse off in the long term financially, and also when you gain weight you will not feel good about yourself.
Instead, it would help to try exercises like yoga and Pilates, meditate, chat to a mate or read.
Make time to help those in need
When you help other people and they are happy, you also feel good. It is also a way to keep in touch with other people.
You can volunteer to pick up groceries and prescriptions for vulnerable people and senior citizens during this lockdown.
Practice methods to calm your mind and get a good nights sleep
Because our minds are continually anxious; thinking, anticipating, and recollecting even when we don’t think that they are, we need to figure out how to control them.
Reflection, meditation, prayer, and mindfulness can help with figuring out how to calm down your brain. It might take a couple of attempts in light of the fact that our brains continue to stray and don’t have any desire to be calm but with daily practice, it can be achieved.
Normalise asking for help
When you bruise your shin, you reach for plaster, when you break your arm you go to the hospital and when you are feeling physically sick it’s easy to ask for help but when one struggles with their mental health it’s not so easy to reach out for help.
Asking for help is hard and might take a lot out of you but it is not a weakness. You can speak to a trusted family member, church member, teacher or call NHS 111 and Samaritans 116 123.
Keep a diary.
Keeping a diary is a good way to not only record your feelings and thoughts but can improve your ability to think critically. You could record events of your day, plan ahead for future events and journal your feelings.
When you have a diary and keep a to-do list, it helps alleviate procrastination and you can tick off the tasks as you go along and not forget what you wanted to do on a particular day.
It is also a good way to record your feelings, on good days you can write about how you feel and what made you feel good and on bad days write about what upset you or made your day not as expected.
Mental and physical health is essential to everyone’s well-being. When we are unwell for long periods of time it starts to affect our ability to be good parents, partners, friends, or employees. These tips are good guidelines on how we can manage our day-to-day lives but when you consistently feel low it is best to see your GP or contact some mental health helplines for more information on where to get help.
https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/advice-for-life-situations-and-events/where-to-get-urgent-help-for-mental-health/
https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/