“Black African people do not get depressed!”

 

‘Black African people do not get depressed!’

This is a statement I hear time and time again when talking about mental health with members of ethnic African communities who believe that mental illness is a ‘white’ thing.

According to the World Health Organisation, 300 million people in the world suffer from depression.

Depression affects people of all ages, from all walks of life. It doesn’t matter what your background is, how old you are or what colour you are.

Unfortunately people from certain cultures are primed from an early age to suppress their feelings, hide how they feel and conceal their illnesses.

Why do black people have to be so strong about everything? We are constantly being reminded that ‘you are a strong black woman or you are a strong black man, you cannot be so weak to admit you are struggling with any mental illness’.  It is just not acceptable to do so as it is an embarrassment to your family members.

We are supposed to pray away our illnesses and have the faith  in God to overcome all obstacles that come our way. We have to pray against generation curses and spiritual enemies that come to us in the form of mental illness.

Scriptures are often quoted that make someone that is suffering from an illness feel like guilty for not knowing those bible verses and for not believing in the healing power of God.

I accept that prayer, meditation, mindfulness and all alternative therapies are good for ones well-being but they can’t be used as a substitute for treatment of illnesses which can potentially be life threatening.

Depression is an illness that seems to be only acceptable to people that are well off financially in certain places. Poorer people are not expected to say that they suffer from depression, they have too many other problems to worry about instead of wallowing in self pity.

There is so much stigma surrounding depression that stops  black people from seeking proper medical treatment for mental health problems.

We are told we can make it through anything, our people survived slavery after all.

Some of the comments that put people off seeking treatment or talking about their health problems are these;

  • ‘You shouldn’t be so weak, tell your problems to God and not a stranger, why are you seeing a therapist?’
  • ‘Don’t take medication, it will make you crazy. People who take medication get worse anyway.’
  • ‘What if you get sectioned? You could lose your children.’
  • ‘Cheer up, there are people going through worse; think about the children that are starving in poorer parts of the world.’
  • ‘You worry too much, you should learn to relax. What are you thinking of anyway?’
  • ‘That is life, get over it!’

The people that choose to seek help and take medication or have therapy, do so in private without their family members knowing about it because It is never received well.

When people are struggling they do not need to be reminded of how strong they are or should be,  it deters them from seeking the help that could benefit their health.

The rates of unexplained suicides has risen and in most cases a person will have been struggling with mental health issues but not talking about it because of fear of judgement and being seen as weak.

We need to be more understanding and supportive of each other and if people close to us show signs of depression or any mental health problems we need to be able to talk to them about it, not fob them off and tell them to snap out of it or tell them to be strong.

The new parent struggling to cope with their new born may not be lazy or unloving to their baby but they could be suffering from post-natal depression. Post-natal depression does not only affect first time mothers, it can affect them after the birth of a second or third child even though it didn’t happen with previous children and  it can affect the fathers too. No new parent should feel embarrassed or ashamed to concede that they are struggling, and having postpartum depression does not make anyone a terrible parent.

One of the main reasons that people do not seek treatment for depression  apart from the social stigma and discrimination is the high cost of medical treatment. When people can’t afford to pay for treatment for other common ailments, they do not feel that they should be complaining of ‘sadness’ and going to seek medical help for it.

Suppressing emotions is seen as  a sign of strength but it is not. Identifying that you have a diagnosable illness and seeking help is being strong but we still have a long way to go in talking about mental health and understanding that there is treatment for illnesses.

Depression does not care if you are black or white, rich or poor, it doesn’t care about your gender, religious views, your weight or age. It can affect anyone and at anytime of their lives. There is nothing to be ashamed of, and the earlier that treatment begins, the more successful it can be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be Body Kind – Mental Health Awareness Week 13-19 May 2019

This week is Mental Health Awareness week and the theme is body image. Body image issues can affect anyone and at any stage in life and social media has played a big part in  causing a lot of people to worry about their body image.

Our body image is what we reflect and how we feel when we look in the mirror or when we picture ourselves in our minds.

Body image issues can be about appearance and what you think about your body,  such as your weight, height, colour.  It can be how you feel within your own skin and it may be positive or negative.

Today, I am choosing to use my own experience in this topic as someone that has struggled with my own body image.

What happened to you?

The picture above is of me and my son, four years apart.

In those 4 years, life has happened; mental health problems, losses and gains for both of us, as well as embarking on the long road to recovery.

Of-course I don’t do myself any favours by sharing pictures with those that I care about and think feel the same.

These pictures were compared in this way, with the caption ‘what happened to you’.

The first one was at my sons 18th and we were happy.

The second one he was 22, on his graduation and and we were happy.

I said I didn’t understand, and they said; ‘well you have clearly put on a lot of weight from the last picture. What have you been doing to yourself? Surely you can work hard at looking like that again if you made the effort’.

Then it clicked; our milestones didn’t matter to them, it was the way I looked that they were interested in. And then it really started to bother me.

The extra pounds that I have gained over the years started to feel like hundreds, I started to ask myself if I could look better. But better than who? Better than what?

I had allowed someone to judge me by a picture, to justify myself to someone why I didn’t look  the way they expected me to and it really did affect me, to the point that my self-confidence started to wane.

It took me a long time to recover from that, but I had to remind myself how far I had come in my recovery to allow that to affect me for too long.

When we continuously worry about how we look it can impact our self-esteem and confidence, and the media has a strong influence on what we think the standard body should look like.

Looking at ‘perfect’ pictures of others and then comparing them to ourselves only leads us to feel worse about ourselves and it is a practice that we need to stop.

When people are constantly plagued with negative thoughts and feelings about their bodies their likelihood to develop certain mental health conditions, such as eating disorders, depression and anxiety is high.

A negative body image may also lead to low self-esteem, which can affect many areas of your life and you may start to obsess constantly about what you eat, how much you exercise or even avoid certain people; but there are steps that you can take to develop a healthier body image.

The more you practice thinking positive thoughts about yourself and the fewer negative thoughts you have about your body, the better you will feel about who you are and how you look.

Working on accepting how you look is healthier than constantly working to change how you look. Always be kind to yourself and accept that a healthy body image is good for a healthy mind.