take a break | Beyond The Shade

I came across this quote and it made me think about the sacrifices parents make for their children, especially mothers.

“Motherhood is a choice you make every day, to put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you’re not sure what the right thing is…and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong.” [Donna Ball, At Home on Ladybug Farm]

Every so often we do too much, take on more than we can or need to until we get to a point that we can no longer manage, and our mental and physical health starts to suffer.

When we take on too many projects than we can handle, we are left feeling anxious to meet the deadlines, burnt out from doing too much, and depressed that we couldn’t finish the tasks on time or didn’t manage to complete them at all.

Taking on too many assignments leaves you overwhelmed

We need to know that it’s okay to take a break from the pressures of life, say no to invitations to the events that we don’t want to attend, and be selective about the activities we put ourselves up for.

Most of my friends are mothers who need to run their households, looking after kids, doing school runs, keeping social and health appointments, sports activities and some also work full time.

It’s hard work keeping up with social and medical appointments

By the time the stay-at-home mums drop the kids off at school, go back home and do the cleaning, pick up the shopping, it’s almost time to pick up the children from school again and make dinner.

The working parents have to manage their schedules to fit in with school dropoffs, picking up from babysitters or after-school clubs, go home and make dinner get the kids ready for bed, and do it all over again the next day.

Working mothers have to juggle work and childcare

Working overtime with no breaks and no time out to recharge for yourself is not good, but most mums feel that if they stop then it means that they are not good parents. It’s not the amount of time we spend with the kids that matters, it’s the amount of quality time we spend with them.

Sometimes even the partners are not aware of how much the mothers do on a daily basis. It is okay to ask for help, perhaps with cleaning once in a while or having a sitter come in and look after the kids for a few hours while you go to the gym, a walk, coffee with friends, or just to take a nap and have a rest.

Here are a few tips to help you slow down

Enjoy the little time you have alone – don’t spend your time alone at home after dropping off kids at school feeling anxious about how they are getting on. The teachers are trained to look after the children during that time, instead, read a book or write a journal.

Make some time to unwind – if you have a few minutes to yourself, even 5 to 10 mins, you can close your eyes and use this time to practice mindfulness, meditate, take deep breaths and clear your thoughts.

Take Walks – you can do this with your dog if you have one or with the children at a safe place where children can safely run around and get some fresh air. It is good for you and the children’s mental health and also helps them to sleep better at night.

Take a Power Nap – A power nap can help you recharge. You don’t have to sleep for hours – just 30 minutes to an hour can help you feel rested and you can continue with your tasks.

Treat yourself to a relaxing bath – when you’re on a tight schedule it’s always quick showers and out of a house, so having a long warm bath feels like a treat. When the kids have settled in for the night, light some nice smelling candles, put some soothing bath salts and soak in a bubble bath. You will feel refreshed.

Watch what you eat – When you’re busy with the children and activities it is easy to eat on the hoof. Most mums will grab a chocolate bar and a coffee to go, on the way to pick up the kids from school and nibble on what the children are having for dinner and not make time for their own nutrition. That is also detrimental to overall wellbeing so it is very important to make time to prepare, sit and eat healthy meals.

To all the mothers out there, please do not find excuses that will keep you from taking a break. You do not have to be perfect, we become better parents when we are rested and happy, not when we are depressed and overwhelmed by our schedules and children. You do need to feel guilty for taking care of yourself, you deserve the break.

This is a stressful time not just in the homes across the nation but all over the world. For most people this has been the longest that they have stayed at home when they are not on annual leave or holiday, and at the moment they are not staying in because they choose to but because they need to, for their own safety and all those around them.

There is nowhere to escape to, no gym, no pub and no mates houses to go and hangout when one needs a place a distraction.

My friends and I have been chatting a lot on WhatsApp and Messenger and I will share with you some of the tips we have been talking about and find useful.

Try to have a morning workout

Some stretches and gentle exercises would be good to do in the morning before you get start checking your email and getting down to work.

If you have children you may choose to exercise before they wake and have that as your ‘me time’ or if they are at an age where they enjoy exercising, then make it into a family activity and you can bond with your family through exercise.

2. Shower and change daily

We have been joking around a lot about waking at 7.57am and being at our desks at 8am, but it’s very important to shower and change before we start working or doing our other duties. It actually makes you feel better.

3. Maintain a routine

If you don’t know what you’re doing from one day to the next you will start to get overwhelmed and not finish your projects if you are working from home.

Keep your bedtimes and wake up time the same as you would if you are working in an office or commute. That way it will also be easy for you to make the transition back to the office when the time comes.

4. Take a break

Take a break from work as you would in the office and stretch your legs. If you have a garden or balcony thats good because you can get some air but if not you can still pause and put the kettle on.

5. Switch of the telly during work time

I am guilty of having the news on the loop all day but I am aware of what a distraction that is. The best advice is to catch up with the morning news, we all need to know what is happing around us and then get on with what we need to do.

6. Switch off work devices during down time or family time

It is easy to get caught up in work and let it over lap onto rest time when we are working from home but it’s equally important to maintain our working hours and then put our work away in order to rest and catch up with the news, our kids and our friends.

7. Find a good book to read

Most people buy books and don’t read them, now is the time to find those books and enjoy some quiet time.

You can also read audio books, e-books or your favourite blogs and listen to podcasts.

8. Play games and do some crafts

Many people play games on their mobiles, my nephew loves video games and if you have cards, monopoly or scrabble, now is the time to pull them out and get everyone involved.

Pull out those crafting projects you have been meaning to finish for years and complete them.

9. Meditate and practice relaxation

Find a quiet place and meditate, pray or listen to some soothing music to unwind as that can help you to slow down and relieve some of your stress.

10. Have a long bath or shower

Having a long bath or shower can be calming at the end of the day so treat yourself to a relaxing bath or a nice shower and change into comfortable clothes then you can chill out.

11. Cook your meals

Try some simple recipes and cook yourself some nice meals. It’s so easy to snack when we are stuck at home so managing eating times and what we snack on is important. Make use of the stuff in your freezers and cupboard and experiment with herbs and spices.

12. Clean your space

It would be helpful if you clean your work and living space and have it tidy so that its more pleasant to stay in or work in. You can’t think straight when you are in cluttered or overcrowded spaces so if you live in a small place you could pick a corner that you can have as a safe space.

13. Stay in touch with others

Keep in touch with your friends and family via mediums suitable to you and avoid passing on fake news or misleading information to each other. Support each other during this difficult time.

14. Know your limits

It’s easy to tick checklists and listen to other peoples advice but ultimately it lies with you. You have to know and understand what you can do and what you can’t do during this difficult time and do what works for you and the people around you.

Tag: take a break

Dear Mums, You Don’t Have To be Perfect